Ahhhh, summertime! Cheap tomatoes and children's laughter, plus being able to walk around covered by nothing more than a pair of swim trunks, and those primarily to satisfy the cops and keep from being mobbed by female neighbors.
Another summer day gone by, not only a productive day but quite an exciting day as well. I spent a portion of the productive part of the day turning my compost pile. Unlike many people I know, I do not just heap stuff in my back yard and then expect it to just lay there and rot. I realize that having a compost pile of your own means accepting some responsibilities, and among these is making sure that you turn that rotting mass occasionally. You can hardly expect leaves and garbage to compost properly with out a bit of effort on your part, and I do not want my compost pile to ever feel as if it is being neglected. So, early this afternoon I grabbed my rake and a hoe from the garage and did my duty as a composting citizen. I mean as a citizen that does composting, and not one that is composting. Anyway, my heap is now nicely turned, and if smell is any indication of compost quality I may very well have the mother of all compost heaps right here on Roosevelt Ave. Standing on the other side of the yard this afternoon downwind from that sucker was enough to make your eyes water. If I sound proud, it is probably just your imagination.
As to the exciting part, I did a bit of experimentation today which resulted in an educational experience for David. Early in the day I discovered that several wasps had somehow found their way onto my back porch and made themselves at home. I did not waste my breath trying to explain to them how I feel about nasty little insects invading my home, as I doubt they would have bothered listening anyway. What I did do was to open my back door and invite them to leave. This was less than successful, as the few already inside stayed inside, and one more came on in while I was holding the door for him. After closing the door, I decided to haul out the heavy artillery, and reached under my sink for a can of flying insect spray. Unfortunately, I found I had used all of the spray on my last confrontation with mean little insects, and neglected to purchase more. Searching for another solution to my problem, I noticed an aerosol can of Wizard Sunsplash air freshener, and suddenly was seized with an idea. Of course I realize that the stuff is not intended to kill wasps, but I had never heard of anyone else actually using air freshener to convince flying insects to fly elsewhere. For all I knew, the people that manufacture Raid and other such products have been living in fear of the day someone tried using this stuff for something besides making their house smell good, and discovered that it worked.
So, I armed myself with my can of air freshener, said a brief prayer to the gods for a successful hunt, and headed for my back porch to do battle. Happily, all of my unwanted guests had settled down on a warm area of the storm door and were doing a little sun bathing. I crept up just as quietly as I could, took aim with a steady hand, and fired. The results were immediate, and altogether disappointing. Within seconds I had a squadron of thoroughly pissed-off wasps flying in formation around my porch, searching for a target. However, they smelled great! I realized that discretion is the better part of valor, and beat a hasty retreat back into my kitchen, slamming closed the door between the kitchen and porch. I decided there was a reason why the stuff in the can was called air freshener and not wasp killer, and returned it underneath the sink. I then rewarded my efforts with a glass of sun tea, keeping a close eye through the window on the kitchen door to assure myself that the little SOB's had not figured out how to gain entrance into the house. After I had finished my tea and the situation had calmed down a bit, I armed myself with a more traditional weapon, probably in use long before spray cans of bug killer had been invented. I rolled up a newspaper, and spent the next half hour flattening my great smelling wasps. A good deal riskier than spray, perhaps, but much more effective. Live and learn. Perhaps next time I will try some non-stick cooking spray.
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